luni, 31 decembrie 2007


La multi ani, Bianco!

La multi ani!

pentru toti tovarasii si tovarasele mele, cu drag:

duminică, 30 decembrie 2007


Q. De ce are veverita coada in spate?
A. Pentru ca in fata sta ea.

sâmbătă, 29 decembrie 2007


The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water
temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500s: These are interesting.

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,
and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell,
so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had
the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then
the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.

Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other
small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying. It's raining cats and dogs.

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up
your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the
top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep
their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside.
A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.

Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner,
leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.

Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the
pot nine days old.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon.
They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around
and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content
caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death.

This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the
loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.

They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places
to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a
bone-house, and reuse the grave.

When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the ....graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.!

via debo

joi, 27 decembrie 2007

A fost o data un barbat perfect si o femeie perfecta. Ei s-au intilnit
si deoarece relatia lor a fost perfecta s-au casatorit. Nunta a fost
perfecta. Iar viata lor in doi a fost deasemenea perfecta.

Intr-o seara de craciun, in care ningea puternic, aceasta pereche
perfecta mergea cu masina pe o sosea plina de curbe, cind la un moment
dat au vazut pe cineva la marginea strazii, care se pare ca avea o pana.

Era Mos Craciun cu o tolba plina de cadouri. Deoarece ei nu au vrut sa
dezamageasca copiii cei multi care asteptau cadourile, perechea perfecta
l-au invitat pe Mos Craciun sa se urce in masina lor pt. a ajunge sa
imparta cadourile. Si asa au ajuns in scurt timp sa imparta cadourile.
Din nefericire s-au inrautatit conditiile meteorologice si cei trei au
avut un accident.
Unul singur din cei trei a supravietuit. Care?

(Ginditi-va mai intii si abia apoi va uitati la raspuns)

Bine-nteles ca femeia perfecta.
Ea este singura din cele 3 personaje care exista intr-adevar. Toata
lumea stie ca Mos Craciun nu exista.... si ce sa mai zicem de barbati

Pt. femei, povestea se termina aici. Barbatii vor citi in continuare.

Puncte bonus pt. barbati:
Daca Mos Craciun si barbatul perfect nu exista, inseamna ca femeia a
Ceea ce explica de ce s-a si intimplat accidentul.

Si inca ceva: daca esti femeie si ai citit si restul povestii, asta mai
demonstreaza inca o chestie:
Femeile nu fac niciodata ce li se spune !

please help!!!

cum te descurci cu un om care are probleme psihice?
am incercat urmatoarele: sa-i explic rational, sa ma pun la mintea lui, si sa-l ignor. nicio metoda nu a avut rezultat.
am ajuns in pragul disperarii. cred o sa inebunesc si eu, si o sa ne intelegem de minune.

Nouvelle Vague - In a manner of speaking

eat this!

marți, 25 decembrie 2007

merry x-mass

Va doresc sa fiti fericiti cu ocazia Sfintelor Sarbatori de Craciun, sa lasati necazurile, grijile si supararile la o parte, si sa aveti o zi minunata alaturi de cei dragi sufletului vostru! Craciun Fericit!

V-am dat copy-paste la unul dintre mesajele primite de mine. Daca vreti sa va formulez ceva personalizat nu ezitati sa ma contactati :D

duminică, 23 decembrie 2007

how to

Am gasit un ghid care te invata in 25 de pasi cum sa te porti cu fetele.

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for p*ssy's and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words f**k you and grab the other girls @rse. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.

25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny

vineri, 21 decembrie 2007

tu unde faci revelionu'?

ce as vrea eu acum? as vrea sa am o gramada de oferte pentru revelion, si sa le refuz pe rand pana gasesc ceva convenabil. dar daca nu e nimic, ce pot sa fac?

miercuri, 19 decembrie 2007

horoscopu la mine

"Pastrati-va calmul, ca sa nu aveti probleme cu sanatatea! Daca va urcati la volan, ar fi bine sa conduceti mai prudent decat de obicei."
cam asa suna o parte din horoscopul meu de azi.(eu, in fiecare dimineata pe nemancate/nebaute, citesc horoscopul)
am luat-o ca pe o amenintare. cu astrele nu te joci.
eu nu prea am inteles ce treaba are jupier( planeta mea <3) cu volanul. oare pe bicicleta am voie sa merg?
in fine, dupa ce am stat si m-am gandit, raspunsul a venit de la sine.
azi nu era o zi buna pentru condus, deoarece :

Soarele in Sagetator, la 26°36'
Luna in Berbec, la 15°50'
Mercur in Sagetator, la 27deg;19'
Venus in Scorpion, la 15°47'
Marte R, in Rac, la 4°58'
Jupiter in Capricorn, la 0°01'
Saturn in Fecioara, la 8°33'
Uranus in Pesti, la 15°02'
Neptun in Varsator, la 19°54'
Pluton in Sagetator, la 28°39'
Nod Nord R, in Pesti, la 29°59'

makes sens. doesn't it?

profesorul cu gonade de o voluptate ilara

noaptea trecuta, gabi a baut doua energizante. nu avea pic de somn. ora era aproape 1 si el avea chef de discutii. mi-a povestit ce a mai facut el pe la liceu. a luat un 3 si un 10. 3 la logica si 10 la muzica, ca un adevarat artist.
de ce a luat 3 la logica? pentru ca radea isteric in ora. de ce radea isteric in ora?
pentru ca profu' lui de logica in varsta de vreo 30 de ani, a venit imbracat cu niste pantaloni mulati de crapau pe el. pantaloni evazati din matase sau nu stiu ce material lucios. si, ce-i de ras in asta? i se vedeau gonadele ( coaiele). toata clasa radea cu capul intre maini. el radea putin mai tare, iar profu' l-a scos la tabla. la tabla, gabi a continuat sa rada. gheiu' l-a amenintat ca-i da nota 3. cand a auzit asta, a inceput sa rada si mai tare. toata clasa era pe jos. a stat 10 minute la tabla si a ras, fara sa scoata un cuvant. nu a inteles de ce a luat 3, dar a fost o distractie pe cinste.
la muzica a luat 10 pentru ca a cantat "Domn, Domn, să-năltăm".
misto viata in liceu :D

marți, 18 decembrie 2007


in urma cu 21 de ani, pe timpul asta, se nastea cel de-al 2-lea copil al familiei Panfil. familia l-a supranumit "cel mai de pret lastar al arborelui nostru genealogic".
in cercurile selecte este cunoscut sub numele de "Domnul Emanuel".
sa fie clar, cine nu imi zice "la multi ani" o incurca. o sa-mi dedic urmatorii 79 de ani(da, eu o sa traiesc fix 100 de ani, asta e scopul meu in viata)asigurandu-ma ca viata voastra va fi un cosmar. va multumesc pentru intelegere. nici nu stiti cat inseamna pentru mine.
p.s. urarea care ma unge cel mai mult pa suflet primeste un premiu semnificativ, in bani sau in produse, in functie de optiunea personala.

duminică, 16 decembrie 2007

Sure Check - Test de sarcina

spune-i si lui Vasilica, c-o sa aiba fiu sau fiica...

via Debo

Amanda Lear - Enigma, Give a bit of mmm to me

melodia din reclama de la kinder bueno, desi in afara de refren nu e mare scula.

vineri, 14 decembrie 2007

Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt always Kill

Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile… Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thall shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thall shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoakes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you're done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ’cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.

The Beatles - Were just a band.
Led Zepplin - Just a band.
The Beach Boys - Just a band.
The Sex Pistols - Just a band.
The Clash - Just a band.
Crass - Just a band.
Minor Threat - Just a band.
The Cure - Just a band.
The Smiths - Just a band.
Nirvana - Just a band.
The Pixies - Just a band.
Oasis - Just a band.
Radiohead - Just a band.
Bloc Party - Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys - Just a band.
The next big thing - JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say "he say, she say, we say, make some noise" - kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying “Is it”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always kill.

joi, 13 decembrie 2007

Simon and Garfunkel - Sound of Silence

Vazut "The Graduate". Destul de misto. Asta e coloana sonora :D

luni, 10 decembrie 2007

te uitai la mine cu ambii ochi in acelasi timp.
eram stricat, dar tu m-ai fixat cu privirea.
ai profitat de faptul ca sunt un tip transparent si te-ai uitat in interiorul meu.
mi-ai vazut miezul format din gol si panze de paianjen.
sunt panzele care ma protejeaza de daunatori.
n-ai putut sa te abtii, si ai inceput sa le rupi.
mi-ai stricat compozitia.
acum, fluturii interiori zboara nestingheriti.
au depus oua din care au iesit larve. larve dintoase care ma rod.
eu le ignor, dar mi-e mila de ele ca-si strica dintii de la o varsta atat de frageda.

duminică, 9 decembrie 2007

Sophie Zelmani - Going Home

melodia din reclama de la posta romana. simple and beautiful.

A Decade of Dreams (2005)
Memory Loves You (2007)

vineri, 7 decembrie 2007

Think Different

Apple face reclama la oameni destepti.
In ordinea aparitiei : Albert Einstein, Bob Dylan, Martin Luther King, Jr., Richard Branson, John Lennon, R. Buckminster Fuller, Thomas Edison, Muhammad Ali, Ted Turner, Maria Callas, Mahatma Gandhi, Amelia Earhart, Alfred Hitchcock, Martha Graham, Jim Henson (with Kermit the Frog), Frank Lloyd Wright and Pablo Picasso.

Reclama asta imi place la fel de mult ca branza camembert si Valentina Pelinel.

joi, 6 decembrie 2007


am gasit un sait misto pe care vi-l recomand cu caldura si cu apa calda. nu trebuie sa-mi multumiti, ci doar sa ma iubiti in continuare.

miercuri, 5 decembrie 2007


am dat peste textu' asta. nu e ceva foarte adanc, dar merita citit.

Era odata un rege care avea 4 neveste.

Cel mai mult o iubea pe cea de-a patra sotie, pe care o imbraca cu straie
din cele mai scumpe si o trata cu cele mai fine delicatese. Ii dadea tot ce era mai bun.

De asemenea o iubea si pe cea de-a treia sotie si ea era cea cu care se
mandrea cel mai mult in fata regatelor vecine. Totusi, regele traia cu teama ca aceasta sotie il va lasa intr-o zi pentru un altul.

Regele o iubea si pe cea de-a doua sotie. Ea era confidenta lui si era
intotdeauna draguta, intelegatoare si rabdatoare cu el. De cate ori regele avea o problema, putea avea incredere in ea ca il va ajuta sa treaca peste momentele grele.

Prima sotie a regelui era foarte loiala si isi adusese o mare contributie in mentinerea regatului. Totusi, regele nu o iubea pe prima sotie. Desi ea il iubea cu adevarat, el de abia o observa!

Intr-o zi, regele simti ca sfarsitul ii este aproape. Se gandi la viata lui plina si isi spuse: "Acum am 4 sotii cu mine, dar cand voi muri, voi fi singur."

O intreba pe cea de-a patra nevasta: "Te-am iubit cel mai mult, ti-am daruit cele mai frumose haine si ti-am aratat cea mai mare grija. Acum, eu am sa mor, vrei sa vii cu mine si sa-mi tii companie?"

"Nici vorba!" replica cea de-a patra sotie, si pleca fara un alt cuvant.
Raspunsul ei strapunse inima regelui ca un cutit.

Regele o intreba si pe cea de-a treia sotie: "Te-am iubit toata viata mea.
Acum ca mor, vrei sa vii cu mine si sa-mi tii companie?"
"Nu!" veni raspunsul celei de-a treia sotii. "Viata e prea buna! Cand vei muri, ma voi recasatori!"
Inima regelui se stranse de durere.

Apoi o intreba si pe cea de-a doua sotie: "Intotdeauna am gasit la tine intelegere si ajutor si mereu ai fost acolo pentru mine. Cand voi muri, vr ei sa vii cu mine si sa-mi tii companie?"
"Imi pare rau, nu te pot ajuta de data aceasta!" replica cea de-a doua sotie. "Te pot doar inmormanta si veni la mormantul tau."
Regele fu devastat si de acest raspuns.

Apoi se auzi o voce: "Eu te voi urma oriunde vei merge!" Regele se uita imprejur si vazu ca cea care rostise aceste cuvinte era prima sotie. Era atat de slaba, pentru ca suferise mult din cauza foamei si a neglijarii sale.

Adanc indurerat, regele spuse: "Trebuia sa fi avut mult mai multa grija de tine cand am avut ocazia!"

In realitate, noi toti avem 4 sotii in viata noastra:

Cea de-a patra sotie este TRUPUL nostru. Indiferent cat timp si efort
investim in a-l face sa arate bine, el ne va lasa cand murim.

Cea de-a treia sotie este AVEREA noastra. Cand murim, merge la altii.

Cea de-a doua sotie este FAMILIA SI PRIETENII. Indiferent cat de apropiati
ne-au fost in timpul vietii, ei nu pot decat sa vina la mormantul nostru dupa ce nu mai suntem.

Prima sotie este SUFLETUL nostru. Adesea este neglijat in goana dupa averi,
bunastare si putere sau in goana dupa iluzii desarte, uitand ca iubirea cuarata si sincera iti face viata frumoasa si spiritul sa traiasca si dupa. Si totusi, SUFLETUL este singurul care ne va urma oriunde vom merge.

Animals are better than you

Axe Vice Mockumentary

azi am avut o zi urata si proasta. sau chiar mai mult decat atat. a fost urata, proasta, fitzoasa, materialista. vedeti clipu' asta, ca e bine facut.

marți, 4 decembrie 2007

Smoke City - Underwater Love

This must be underwater love
The way I feel it slipping all over me
This must be underwater love
The way I feel it

O que que é esse amor, dágua
Deve sentir muito parecido a esse amor
This is it
Underwater love
It is so deep
So beautifully liquid

Esse amor com paixão, ai
Esse amor com paixão, ai que coisa

After the rain comes sun
After the sun comes rain again
After the rain comes sun
After the sun comes rain again

This must be underwater love
The way I feel it slipping all over me
This must be underwater love
The way I feel it

O que que é esse amor, dágua
Eu sei que eu não quero mais nada

Follow me now
To a place you only dream of
Before I came along

When I first saw you
I was deep in clear blue water
The sun was shining
Calling me to come and see you
I touched your soft skin
And you jumped in with your eyes closed
And a smile upon your face
Você vem, você vai
Você vem e cai
E vem aqui pra cá
Porque eu quero te beijar na sua boca
Que coisa louca
Vem aqui pra cá
Porque eu quero te beijar na sua boca
Ai que boca gostosa

After the rain comes sun
After the sun comes rain again
After the rain comes sun
After the sun comes rain again
Cai cai e tudo tudo cai
Tudo cai pra lá e pra cá
Pra lá e pra cá
E vamos nadar
Y vamos nadar e tudo tudo dá

This must be underwater love
The way I feel it slipping all over me
This must be underwater love
The way I feel it
Oh oh dágua we are full

Oh underwater love
This underwater love
This underwater love
Underwater love

duminică, 2 decembrie 2007

Paul Van Dyk - Let Go

I can’t get it out of me
It’s breathing inside of me
It’s reaching inside of you
You feeling infected
You been infected
It’s just like a cold
A kiss on your lips
Now you taking control
I feel like a criminal
I’m falling apart
I’m leaving for Venice
In a getaway car
No one can save us
It’s no need to try
I’m looking for savers
Holding us back

If you wanna try and save me
And take my heart and take me
If you feel you can let go let it go…

Spoiled Kid

draga de ea...
Emanuel 2.0, incantat!

sâmbătă, 1 decembrie 2007


Fight club

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic.